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| About the 4 forces of an orderly, productive, fulfilled lifeSM/TM |
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| © 2000-2007 by Helen Ksypka |
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The vicious circle...
Without organizational skills, you waste time. With limited time, you find it difficult to get organized.
If your head is filled with clutter, you can't organize your thoughts. Getting to the point, expressing yourself, and communicating clearly becomes futile.
Now add an environment plagued by chaos, topped with jammed or haphazard schedules, and you're too frazzled and unfocused to set and reach goals.
This is the vicious circle that robs you of the life you want.
The Solution...
Mastery of the 4 forces of an orderly, productive, fulfilled lifeSM/TM:
| Force 1 |
| get organized |
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| "Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify."
- Henry David Thoreau |
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Helen emphasizes that getting organized is a vital force because it cuts through confusion, promotes productivity, and establishes harmony.
So why doesn't everyone just do it? It's because most people are not aware that getting organized requires a set of skills that must be studied, learned, and practiced.
If you took one class in architecture, would you expect to design a museum?
It's the same with learning organizational skills. It's a step-by-step process that requires an investment of time, doing your homework, and consistently applying what you learn until it becomes second nature.
But will becoming organized make you a slave to rigidity? "No," says Helen. "You're a slave, now, to the mayhem that controls you."
Getting organized is what breaks you out of the vicious circle. Your path is cleared; you make better choices; you see results. You're free to focus on the life you want, rather than settling for the life you have. |
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| Force 2 |
| strategize your time |
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| "Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it."
- M. Scott Peck |
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Regardless of your age, race, or social status, there is one thing that never discriminates. Time. We all get the same twenty-four hours each day, and we each have a choice of how to spend them.
If you've fallen prey to the "busy" syndrome, you probably don't feel as if you have a choice. But a "busy" day filled with activity is useless if the activities are nothing more than robotic routines. Day-to-day, it's vital to focus on the important things you need to do to create the life you want.
If you have too much on your plate, adopt Helen's revolving doorSM/TM technique. For every committee added, delete one first. For each favor granted, decline another. For every new project, eliminate one activity...and so on.
Start a log and track where your time goes. Do you let people who don't matter take up your time? Do you throw away time on functions or events that you've outgrown or no longer have meaning?
Begin to recognize that, just like money, time must be budgeted or you'll go broke. But Helen warns: "That doesn't mean being a time miser with what's important. Not budgeting time for play, spontaneity, and fulfillment is what causes stress, cripples the pursuit of goals, and knocks lives out of whack."
A schedule doesn't close you in a box. When you plan well, it allows you to prioritize with balance, be ready for the unexpected, and to choose what is most important to produce results toward the life you want. |
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| Force 3 |
| communicate effectively |
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| "Communication is power. Those who master its effective use can change their own experience of the world and the world's experience of them."
- Anthony Robbins |
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How you communicate has a direct impact on the outcome of your life. And though most people immediately think in terms of how they interact with others, it's crucial to examine your intrapersonal relationship (how you talk to yourself) first.
Is this part of your inner dialogue? I can't help it; this is the way I am. Even if I try, I know I'll fail. What's wrong with me? My life will never change.
If you brainwash yourself with defeatist beliefs, it diminishes your worth, sabotages your goals, and the life you want continues to elude you.
In interpersonal relationships (communicating with others) do you send out confusing or ineffective messages? One example is when a woman makes a powerful verbal stand, but ends her point with a nervous giggle. The message not only becomes contradictory, it loses its punch.
Another example is ending an emphatic statement with an "up" inflection. Note the difference: "I have a solution for this problem." "I have a solution for this problem?" The latter seeks approval. The former conveys certainty. To be taken seriously, what you say and how you say it must be in sync.
The impact of nonverbal communication is equally important. Slumped posture, shuffling feet, head down, poor eye contact....These project low confidence. Head up, eyes alert, determined gait, smiling....These project high confidence.
Remember. People look at you and size you up before you say a word.
One more area of communication, often overlooked, is correspondence. Are you able to construct heartfelt personal notes as well as polished, professional letters?
Don't dismiss e-mail. When its fraught with typos, misspellings, and other errors, it can damage your credibility or label you as careless. And the inability to structure succinct, understandable messages results in confusion, repeated requests for clarification, loss of time, and in many business situations, loss of money.
"In all forms of communication," says Helen, "whether it's with family, friends, colleagues or yourself, how effective or ineffective you are will not only dictate your self-image, it will determine how you are treated by others and which opportunities materialize or slip away." |
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| Force 4 |
| reach your goals |
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| "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
- Les Brown |
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Before setting a goal, be sure it's something you really want, not something that another person expects you to do, or something you feel you should do.
Ask yourself if your goal is in sync with your values, who you are, and what you consider to be your life's purpose or mission.
Then go beyond wishing and dreaming. Make your goal real by writing it down.
The next step is to make a goal specific. For example, "wanting a better job" is a vague goal. Be specific: which field, job location, commuting time, hours, salary, large or small company, vacation time, benefits, workload, job responsibilities, dress code, the company's mission statement, managerial style, formal or casual atmosphere....The more specific you are about what you want, the clearer your goal will be.
For big goals, make a list of sub-goals. This creates step-by-step achievability. Concentrating on one task only, completing it, and moving on to the next sub-goal provides a steady stream of progress.
Remember, too, that reaching goals not only requires effort, it requires time. If your schedule is bulging, it's necessary to purge before you begin. Eliminating the lowest priorities, or anything that doesn't add meaning or fulfillment to your life, makes room for what you really want.
Set realistic deadlines, and schedule appointments with yourself to carry out the steps of your goal. Whether you choose a time block of twenty minutes or an hour or more, physically mark it on your calendar, and take that appointment seriously.
Promise to give a friend or family member at least ten dollars if you miss an appointment with yourself. (Stick to your word; handing over money is a great motivator.)
And no interruptions. If you had a consultation with an attorney, would you answer the phone, check e-mail, or allow family members to barge in? Do the same with your goal appointments.
Is this moving me toward my goal? Adopt this as your mantra. Throughout each day, whatever you do, wherever you go, or whoever you talk with, in each situation keep asking yourself: Is this moving me toward my goal?
Sure, there will be times when you'll feel discouraged, overwhelmed, or you just won't feel like sticking with it. But at those moments, it's crucial to keep your eye on the prize. Don't dwell on the work of each step; focus only on the payoff and what you'll achieve.
"Setting and reaching goals is a win/win situation," says Helen. "It fills you with pride and boosts your self-esteem. It stretches you, builds your confidence, and empowers you to take charge of your life and create your destiny." |
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